爺爺,您回來啦!

連戰訪問大陸你們知道,寫論文的人需要一些娛樂來調劑身心。

我一向很不願意在我的網站上放一些具有政治爭議性的題材。但是我當我看到這個新聞片段的時候,我實在是無法不讓自己笑到在地上打滾。說實在話,看完之後想想我還真的不知道是該笑還是該哭。我知道你們在台灣香港大陸的人大概都已經在電視上看過這個片段了。如果還沒有看過的,就欣賞一下我們的中國同胞是如何用此極盡肉麻的政治手段來荼毒無辜弱小的台灣政治人物的心靈吧!

共產黨,算你狠!

http://blog.xuite.net/_users/56/0c/12067215/blog_13366/dv/177408/177408.wmv

當耶穌變泰山的時候…

Flying Jesus
表示你開太快了… 🙂

Joke du jour

An old priest was dying. He sent a message for his IRS (美國國稅局) agent and his Lawyer to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the priest held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The priest grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old priest would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the priest had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them. Finally, the Lawyer asked, “Father, why did you ask the two of us to come?”

The old priest mustered up some strength, then said weakly, “Jesus died between two robbers, and that’s how I want to go, too.”

How to avoid all the illogic and idiosyncrasies of English spelling?

This is a joke found on the Internet. I don’t know where it comes from. However, if you think English is a difficult language, then you should read this joke!

A large amount of typing errors are caused by 3 reasons:

1. Carelessness
2. Spelling differences across countries (e.g. color/colour)
3. Nonnative English speakers trying to cope with illogical spelling rules

I now strongly suggest we should try to simplify the language. To try and do this in one attempt could be disastrous, so I think we should phase it in over a 5 year period. My suggestions are as follows, and I hope you will agree.

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy.

Also, the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. We will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by “v”.

During ze fifz year ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” , so Soup will then be known as Sup and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

How many Student Services people (and a few more) does it take to change a light bulb?

VP’s Office – What are the learning outcomes associated with changing that bulb?

Asst. VP’s – and who do you think is going to pay for all these bulbs?

Financial Aid – File your FAFSA then worry about it

Res Life – You need to bring your own light bulbs, read your license agreement

Student Union – We’ll have to charge you extra to change that bulb

Student Government – We’ll pass a resolution recognizing the bulb is out, then it shall be out

Judicial Affairs – if you read the code we have 5 days to decide then 3 days to respond then 5 days to act

Student Support Services – some first generation students haven’t even seen a light bulb

Admissions and Records – FERPA doesn’t allow us to tell you that information

Prospective Students – Our light bulbs never burn out, it’s perfect here, read the script

Legal Counsel – Well who bought those bulbs in the first place?

FYE – At least two, and they need to feel like they matter

Disability Resource Center – According to the ADA that ceiling will have to be lowered

Greek Life – We don’t change anything, it is always out, its tradition. Can we still have our party?

Career Services – one each from the MBTI personality types should work

Service Learning – Let’s see who wants to volunteer for that job?

Transition Programs – no, really it’s not too late you can still change it

Counseling Center – We would like to tell you but that’s confidential

Tutoring program – we can teach anyone how to change it

Bookstore – we have bulbs with the logo on sale this week at 20% off

Escort Services – Ignore it, we’ll give you a lift so you don’t need to walk in the dark

Cashier – you will have to sign for those you know

Ethnic Student Center – we have a MUFP Intern to handle that

Graduate Students – oh sure you ask us to change light bulbs but forget us every other time

Strategic Planning – Within five years we won’t even need light bulbs

Student Activities – we reserved ALL the light bulbs a long time ago

Exits/Withdrawals – you can change it, but the committee will decide on a refund

Mediation – everyone will have to agree with the changing process

Pre Professional and Grad School Advising – lucky you, we have a workshop for that

Substance Abuse counseling – changing it will just enable the behavior

Computing Services – If you had backed up your files, this wouldn’t be a problem

Testing center – a high analytical score will determine the changer

Upward Bound – our grant money won’t pay for that

Veteran Services – you have to have a form GS slash 14 B 96021

Physical Plant – we need a work order and an account number

The Student – It is just a light bulb, take it easy!