生活中的學習… What I've learned in life…

How to avoid all the illogic and idiosyncrasies of English spelling?

This is a joke found on the Internet. I don’t know where it comes from. However, if you think English is a difficult language, then you should read this joke!

A large amount of typing errors are caused by 3 reasons:

1. Carelessness
2. Spelling differences across countries (e.g. color/colour)
3. Nonnative English speakers trying to cope with illogical spelling rules

I now strongly suggest we should try to simplify the language. To try and do this in one attempt could be disastrous, so I think we should phase it in over a 5 year period. My suggestions are as follows, and I hope you will agree.

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy.

Also, the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. We will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by “v”.

During ze fifz year ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” , so Soup will then be known as Sup and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

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