風沙星辰小論壇

來美國一年多
有各情況是我到現在一直無法很明確給他個label
因為我根本搞不太清楚這各情況是怎麼衣回事.....更不要說我知道let it out..or say, deal with it
所以想聽聽看其他人的想法if you have similar feelings or experience.

based on我比較頻繁接觸到的三個美國人 + 上課聽老美同學發言或和我互動中,我真的感覺好像美國人比較"個人主義"
例如,他們是那種.. 忠於自己的想法和感覺.."如果我想做啥,我就努力去做即使旁邊人給我異樣眼光"
而且他們的社交幽默模式跟台灣不同...(sorry,不知道怎麼寫的更清楚, 我只能說我有這種感覺)

我察覺到...有很多次我在跟我現在美國督導互動....我心裡很緊張
(即使我督導在我心中算是很nice的美國人ㄌ)
當然緊張的來源很多, 像是語文障礙啦..he is in an authoratative position啦..
但其中有一個原因是...
我會想"恩...我要表現的像美國人一點,像他們講話那樣很有自信的樣子..像他們那樣有種美國式幽默....why??因為我怕被看成"台灣來的是不是都很幼稚"
Why?
因為我覺得...在和同齡的老美同學比...我常覺得自己是比較社交幼稚
他們言行舉止就是很落落大方...而且
當我在實習...聽我督導教育小朋友...妳就感覺..美國人從小教育小孩要為自己的生活想...例如沒錢---> get a job, 和父母處不好---> 18 get a job and leave that house...被保護管束---> get a job and pay probation fee by yourself...
當我在課堂聽老美同學生活,他們幾乎從高中到大學到研究所都get part time jobs while studying...
我是把美國人的社交落落大方還有那種think for themselves歸因到他們從小就被教育independent thinking and responsible for their behaviors...ㄛ還有就是他們廣泛的生活經驗

這是我對美國文化目前的看法
那我現在的困擾點在哪ㄋ?

我有各美國朋友who is 24現在人在china
他常常跟我講到他覺得中國人很conservative
中國大學生don't think for themselves, they follow their parents' expectations for them....
他也會跟我說" You know chinese education system is like that"
他也會跟我說"I think that most of them are underdeveloped."
其實我可以理解為啥他會說出這樣的comment.
至少就我對自己美國生活體驗和台灣美國社會比較的結果詮釋..的確我也會歸結到中國社會的確比較不鼓勵小孩去思考他們各種行為可能帶出的後果,然後再去做選擇
所以我可以理解where her comments come from

但是老實說
每當我聽到他這麼說的時候
雖然我知道他不是在針對我講...因為我跟他算是有某種程度上的信任
我知道他是在發表他對他工作環境中接觸到的大陸大學生的看法
可是
我不知覺還是會有種難過的感覺
是那種覺得...好像中國文化比美國文化差
The group i belong to is inferior than the one you belong to

其實我很不想承認有這種感覺
但是我察覺這種感覺一直存在..也無形中影響我怎麼和美國人互動

簡單說
就是這樣
ㄏ ...真不好意思.. 好像其實我也沒有問出個具體問題
只是想說若有機會的話聽聽看其他人的經驗或想法

I't has been a while when Cake posted this article, I am curious if Cake still felt the same now.

Coincidentally, I've been America also more than one year. My program is rehabilitation counseling. I am not sure weather my feeling can reflect to Cake's. I also strongly have a kind of feeling that I am inferior than American, although I believe that my perception is distorted by American culture. I think we have this feeling is because we are still in a transition period, from eastern culture to western culture which value independence. I always admire that Amercian can have their own thought toward one thing immediately. I, however, when being asked an opinion, always try to figure out how other people's thought about it. In this way, we are not as good as they are; however, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are not good on other aspects. Because of our collectivism, we are perceived more thoughtful.

Don't get me wrong. I still struggle with the feeling of inferiority which hinder my study. Just want to share some of my thought with Cake. If you have any reflection, I would like to know more.

cheers
Marcia